Several months ago, as a promotion for my iPad diary app Remembary, I wrote some fun Mark Leyner-esque hyper-real fake diary entries for the inimitable Giles Bowkett. Yesterday, Unspace brought Giles to Toronto as part of their Technologic series and I was asked to read out the fake diary entries as an opening act and introduction to Giles himself. The entries from November already felt a little dated, so I wrote some new entries, based on Giles' recent Tweets (with one gag recycled from the originals). Here they are:
(From Dr. McNinja)
By the way, the screenshots are a sneak preview of Remembary 1.4 (and yes those are "Pictures" and "Map" buttons).
Friday May 20, 2011
![](http://www.shindigital.com/images/blog/Screen1.jpg)
Did some programming today, then worked on my audition monologue. It's really weird to go from full-on actor brain to full-on programmer brain. Decided to make some self-hypnosis MP3s to help shift gears.
Set up Hypnosis MP3s and ran through them in the afternoon - great stuff! Now I'm a master at Vim *and* Emacs.
Saturday May 21, 2011
Went to acting class and Megan Fox was there - since she got kicked out of the next Transformers movie, she's back to finding a good monologue and head-shot and trying out for commercials and community theatre. Told her I might have a gig for her.
Looks like the Rapture came and went, and I spent it at a burrito place. I don't know if I was called up, since I blocked
Jesus on Twitter a while back for his holier-than-thou attitude.
Sunday May 22, 2011
![](http://www.shindigital.com/images/blog/Screen2.jpg)
Jesus found another Twitter account, but then called me an asshat for not joining him yesterday. BLOCKED.
Megan Fox came by today, to
help me concentrate on my coding. Every 8 minutes or so, I'm having her jump into my office with an In-n-Out burger in one hand and a .357 magnum in the other. Really helped me stay off Twitter and Hacker News and focus on work.
![](http://com-shindigital.s3.amazonaws.com/blog/Megan.jpg)
(If you haven't seen
Giles' "Handcuffs" video, that last part might not have made a lot of sense. Image from
kwills.com, by the way.)
Tomorrow I find out if I can eat a whole pound of spinach.
Monday May 23, 2011
Thought of a way to help my out-of-work actor friends *and* cut back on all the headhunter spam I've been getting: I'll teach the actors how to act and speak like programmers, then they can keep the recruiters busy. They might even be able to get jobs - sure beats waiting tables. Making some hypnosis MP3s for them. First lesson is how to troll online effectively. Keyword: "Asshat". Second lesson: writing obscure deprecation messages for your gem libraries.
Reminding myself that i need to email that girl who lives in echo park. remember!
Turns out eating a whole pound of spinach at once is hard to do.
That said, my Vegan diet is really working out now:
My telekinetic powers are increasing and my bass technique is totally kicking ass.
Wednesday May 25, 20011
My actor friends love the hypnosis MP3s. They're making such great progress - one of them totally killed it with a spot-one rendition of "Why the hell didn't they put HAML into Rails 3.1?" I'm so proud. One of them is interviewing at
Hashrocket! Making a new hypnosis MP3 for them: mastering passive-aggressive tone in commit messages. Hey just found out one of them got a job at
GitHub!
Reminding myself that i need to email that girl who lives in echo park. remember!
Thursday May 26, 2011
Asked Megan Fox if she can help with the distractions again - if I can stay off Twitter long enough to build my new custom annoyance-filtering and mass-blocking client, it'll make my life and the world a better place. She said she had some auditions next week - one for a littering Public Service Announcement, and another one for a Pentecostal dinner-theatre show - but if those didn't work out, she'd totally be up for it
Jesus is calling me on my phone now - so just turned everything off now. No Skype, no phone, no Twitter, no IRC.
It's actually quite relaxing.
Friday May 27, 2011
Jesus is now sending me emails. I love the guy, but enough is enough. Redirected them all to the spam folder.
More hypnosis MP3s today: now I know how to fly a Bell 212 helicopter. I also know Drunken Boxing - too bad I don't drink.
Saturday May 28, 2011
Had coffee today. Now I'm even
faster.
Converted an old car windshield, a Mattel Pixelvision camera, and an Arduino into a live transparent touchscreen DJ device that integrates directly with Archaeopteryx. It only makes dubstep with quotes from the movie Dune.
Bene Gesserit my ass.
(That last reference was fortuitous: Giles' talk ended up being about dealing with fear in your life, like the Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear.)