Giles Bowkett Diary Project 2
Jun 03, 2011 22:44
Several months ago, as a promotion for my iPad diary app Remembary, I wrote some fun Mark Leyner-esque hyper-real fake diary entries for the inimitable Giles Bowkett. Yesterday, Unspace brought Giles to Toronto as part of their Technologic series and I was asked to read out the fake diary entries as an opening act and introduction to Giles himself. The entries from November already felt a little dated, so I wrote some new entries, based on Giles' recent Tweets (with one gag recycled from the originals). Here they are:
(From Dr. McNinja)
By the way, the screenshots are a sneak preview of Remembary 1.4 (and yes those are "Pictures" and "Map" buttons).
Friday May 20, 2011Did some programming today, then worked on my audition monologue. It's really weird to go from full-on actor brain to full-on programmer brain. Decided to make some self-hypnosis MP3s to help shift gears. Set up Hypnosis MP3s and ran through them in the afternoon - great stuff! Now I'm a master at Vim *and* Emacs.
Saturday May 21, 2011Went to acting class and Megan Fox was there - since she got kicked out of the next Transformers movie, she's back to finding a good monologue and head-shot and trying out for commercials and community theatre. Told her I might have a gig for her. Looks like the Rapture came and went, and I spent it at a burrito place. I don't know if I was called up, since I blocked Jesus on Twitter a while back for his holier-than-thou attitude.
Sunday May 22, 2011Jesus found another Twitter account, but then called me an asshat for not joining him yesterday. BLOCKED. Megan Fox came by today, to help me concentrate on my coding. Every 8 minutes or so, I'm having her jump into my office with an In-n-Out burger in one hand and a .357 magnum in the other. Really helped me stay off Twitter and Hacker News and focus on work. (If you haven't seen Giles' "Handcuffs" video, that last part might not have made a lot of sense. Image from kwills.com, by the way.) Tomorrow I find out if I can eat a whole pound of spinach.
Monday May 23, 2011Thought of a way to help my out-of-work actor friends *and* cut back on all the headhunter spam I've been getting: I'll teach the actors how to act and speak like programmers, then they can keep the recruiters busy. They might even be able to get jobs - sure beats waiting tables. Making some hypnosis MP3s for them. First lesson is how to troll online effectively. Keyword: "Asshat". Second lesson: writing obscure deprecation messages for your gem libraries. Reminding myself that i need to email that girl who lives in echo park. remember! Turns out eating a whole pound of spinach at once is hard to do. That said, my Vegan diet is really working out now: My telekinetic powers are increasing and my bass technique is totally kicking ass.
Wednesday May 25, 20011My actor friends love the hypnosis MP3s. They're making such great progress - one of them totally killed it with a spot-one rendition of "Why the hell didn't they put HAML into Rails 3.1?" I'm so proud. One of them is interviewing at Hashrocket! Making a new hypnosis MP3 for them: mastering passive-aggressive tone in commit messages. Hey just found out one of them got a job at GitHub! Reminding myself that i need to email that girl who lives in echo park. remember!
Thursday May 26, 2011
Asked Megan Fox if she can help with the distractions again - if I can stay off Twitter long enough to build my new custom annoyance-filtering and mass-blocking client, it'll make my life and the world a better place. She said she had some auditions next week - one for a littering Public Service Announcement, and another one for a Pentecostal dinner-theatre show - but if those didn't work out, she'd totally be up for it
Jesus is calling me on my phone now - so just turned everything off now. No Skype, no phone, no Twitter, no IRC.
It's actually quite relaxing.
Friday May 27, 2011Jesus is now sending me emails. I love the guy, but enough is enough. Redirected them all to the spam folder.
Saturday May 28, 2011Had coffee today. Now I'm even faster.
Converted an old car windshield, a Mattel Pixelvision camera, and an Arduino into a live transparent touchscreen DJ device that integrates directly with Archaeopteryx. It only makes dubstep with quotes from the movie Dune.
Bene Gesserit my ass.